didn't do much today.
yet there was so many things going through my head!
i wanted to go out with dawn badly.
but felt like the time to go out now, wouldn't have been good.
went shopping with my mum instead.
we went to coffeebean. bought drinks. walked around vivo.
talked abit. decided about certain things. came with solutions to certain ideals and problems.
found out alot more things about my mum today.
and hell lot more about my sis.
figure life isn't all that it makes out to be. alot of different things to overcome
life sucks abit though.
i sorta cant wait till school starts. then i got other things to be worried about instead.
bahhhh
i whine alot more now.
way lot of whining!

can i just leave to NEW YORK right now?
staffy's a wonder. ;)

WHY THE HELL DOES EVERYTHING IN MY WORLD SUCK?
The only time I am able to go out.
I mean WHY?!
WHEN IS MY SIS EVER GOING TO REALISE THAT SHE’S NOT EVERYTHING!
WHAT THE FUCK MAN!
i feel like a total bitch!

sometimes i hate the way my sister treats my mum..
she can't even appreciate the fact that my mum loves her.
and tries to help her out!
and my sis turns right behind
and kicks my mum in the arse!
when is she ever going to realise my mum knows what she's doing is for her best?
what is wrong with her.
i try to tell
she blows me off.
my mum's hurting right now.
my sis is abusive with her words. so bad that she dosen't realise it.
at one point, i figured that i was bad to my mum.. when i was in sec 2..
but i became her friend. i knew and realised her. that she existed.
yet my sis is hurting her so badly.
everyday. inside out.
i always wonder if she realises that? not good.
not good at all.
my mum's hurting.

i'm a wimp.
total wimp.
i still care for the way i look.
maybe a little too much.
SOCIETY IS SO STIFF!

just to let you know. to people who don't like long posts.
maybe you might just not want to read this.

i was watching the Tyra Banks Show today.
about three women that are deeply hurt and have emotional problems that made themselves hurt so badly.
two of the women being fat and the other being hurt by the suicide of her husband and child.
her husband had killed her child then killed himself.
they are so deeply and emotionally hurt
i felt for them. really felt for them.
there's so many things going through my head.
i can't even keep them in the same train of thoughts.
how is it that women go through so much hurt?
how is it that we seem to have more problems?
how do we get so obsessed with our looks and the way we are?
why don't we love ourselves?
how did self-esteem issues even get this worse, not bad, but worse?
how is society so vulgar enough to say that women have to look a certain way or behave a certain way?
society being the people that forms it.
how can it be freaking possible that people judge others when they have flaws of their own?
my hands are actually shaking, while writing this. right now
it pisses me off so badly. because i had gone through the same thing.
at such a young age. being anorexic and so depressed till i built a fake facade.
how did the world even get in this way? how is it that forgiving yourself became so hard or even loving yourself?
stripping bare-naked and looking at yourself in the mirror and saying that i love myself and so what if people view me differently. i don't give a shit!
we have alot more to offer. instead of wasting the energy hurting ourselves, why is it that we can't use the energy and love ourselves instead.
my mum gave me the courage to pursue what i wanted. but the fact being that my mum went through hell.
people go through so many different things. how do we get through so many things?
what's the incredibly powerful tool to keep us sane and moving forward?
one thing i learnt is to not be afraid and go for the things you want in life.
not to let anything get in my way and push myself to do well.
love life on the whole. my mum taught me that. even she doesn't know that.
one thing being that you shouldn't let life pass you just like that.
before you know it. its gone.
do we even know how to deal? with anything at all.
empowerment for women is so important. sassy-ness!

i'm probably crapping a whole lot. i just wanted to sorta talk.
considering that i have no one to talk to.
life's just a bitch.
we just have to push through it. we don't. no one would do it for us.

u figure people are not as confusing as u think they are.
but they are more confusing then ever.
then u figure that doctors are nice people who do actually care for the freaking human life,
everything just fucking changes!
i went to the doctors, twice!
yesterday and today

yesterday:
went to the doctors after calling like a dozen clinics!
finally when i went to one, she said that she can't do it, not-experienced.
okay, that was fine. the fact was that she was really nice and she really felt for me.
she referred me to another doctor(MALE) that worked in the same clinic but at different shifts.
she was bothered about me-that counts a hell lot

today:
went to the same clinic again.
my stomach was like actually churning. inside out.
but when i got in! that dang doctor(MALE) was such a pain.
he was asking questions like why did i pierce my ear? did i do it with permission?
how does freaking matter? i mean seriously!
i got it pierced and now its affected! so there! that's it man
plus he started taking my blood pressure and heart rate and crap.
he was scaring me.. like what the fucking hell
she didn't do it. why does he have to do it?!
ARGHHHHH. he just let me go. he said that he can't cut the lump off because its more complicated.
he sent me off and gave medicine and stuff to wash and put a sort of cream on my lump!
34 bucks! and i have to come back in 5 days

how long am i suppose to wait?
in like 2 weeks, my school is going to re-open!
plus i got to get my haircut. what if i wash my hair and the shampoo gets into the wound or something?!
i had toe infection previously(like a long time back), i couldn't manage such a small thing in school!
how am i suppose to manage it if i go to school with my ear not healed yet! DANG MY ITCHY HAND!
the whole deal was that i get the damn thing of my ear like this week and let it heal(JUST IN TIME)
now i have to wait for 5 DAYS! and then if it dosen't go down, i have to get it cut off.. fugging hell!
if the lump doesn't go down. i have to go to hospital! DANG! tell me earlier
plus if i get referred to by the private clinic-there's no subsidy but if i go to a polyclinic-there's subsidy
like bahhhhhhh
i'm like fucking frustrated!
coz my mum couldn't bring me to clinic nor my dad
the fact is:I HATE DOCTORS/HOSPITAL
i have to go with someone(company)
WHINE!
i wanted to go out so bad
i actually had plans for next week.
now i don't know
what am i suppose to do.
i pushed all my outings this week to next week!
FUCKED!

i actually saw one of my primary school friends.
he was actually the cute guy in class
actually still is and i studied with him when i was in P4.
i was like he could actually remember me.
i couldn't even realise that it was HIM
i had to look twice before i realised it!
AWWWWW.. he smiled.
saw him today. further more, i sort of decided to wear my NP shirt after so long when i left my house to see the doc
and i thought that i was actually lucky to see him, coz i haven't seen him like forever! i actually thought the shirt brought me luck!
then came the doctor's hell.
dang!
i can't remember his name! isman? ismail.
bahhhh
torturous...


i feel like having a swedish dish
restaurants please?!
people!
i mean it. STOP CONFUSING ME!
get to the deal!

u think you know everything
you just end up taking a step back as often
staying in one place may just as well be good for you

everything in the road
may just as well disappear
boom.


just hug everyone
give love
let love
i'm crazy.
laser-focused!

smoky.fuggy.rawn.middle.devil.escape

my whole family went to Breeks today.
like an annual family dinner
my mum wasn't feeling well
she has been coughing non-stop for the past 5 days
like literally non-stop
the food was like ok
quite satisfying!




this was the pasta that my mum took
pasta with mushroom cream sauce
not that bad
but as expected
it was a tad bit bland.


this is wad i took
dory fish glazed with lime chilli sauce with pasta
they had like zuccini/carrot/red and green pepper
the lime chilli sauce was kinda different from the normal kind!
time for a change i guess


this is the dish that my dad and sis took
steak salmon hotplate.
the salmon with the sauce that they poured over it was damn nice!
they poured the sauce over the salmon when they served it piping hot!
the salmon was soft and it just melts in ur mouth


breeks was actually nice.
aint that bad
but the only problem was that everything came up to 75 bucks!
so expensive
for 3 dishes, 2 lemonades and one soup of the day(cream mushroom)
but once a month is ok.

soon
;)

i have to listen to this every night
makes me feel nice
and ting-ly



The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah

I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide

I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide

Don't stop here
I lost my place
I'm close behind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide

You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide


makes me thing otherwise
but feel the opposite
figure this song is the one
or whatever.
this song just does it for me!
deep man
deep.

and

i don't why
this song-soulmate
is rather simple
but its deep
for me atleast




Incompatible, it don't matter though
'cos someone's bound to hear my cry
Speak out if you do
You're not easy to find

Is it possible Mr. Loveable
Is already in my life?
Right in front of me
Or maybe you're in disguise

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Here we are again, circles never end
How do I find the perfect fit
There's enough for everyone
But I'm still waiting in line

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

If there's a soulmate for everyone

Most relationships seem so transitory
They're all good but not the permanent one

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone



it hits my core.
my own.

fugger ass bull*
didn't get to go out today
cancelled last min
bahhh
so so sad
i'm so bored
my bum is just getting bigger day by day

how does a person become active after being immobile for so long?
any ideas.

Your Linguistic Profile:

55% General American English 25% Yankee 15% Dixie 0% Midwestern 0% Upper Midwestern

What Your Face Says

At first glance, people see you as confident and determined. Overall, your true self is moody and dynamic. With friends, you seem logical, detached, and a bit manipulative. In love, you seem mysterious and interesting. In stressful situations, you seem selfish and moody.

The True You

You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more open with you. With respect to money, you spend carefully and save your pennies. You think good luck depends on maintaining good relationships with others. The hidden side of your personality tends to be a little selfish. You only do what interests you. You have a tendency to overdo things, but basically you value your friendships highly. When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you don't have any particular type in mind, but you are inclined to look for someone who will say yes when you ask him / her out.

You Can Hang With the Guys and the Girls

You've struck a good balance between girlie and laid back. You can keep it casual but when you dress up, you are as girly as the next girl.

Your Vibe Is Somewhat Sexy

On a good day, you're the sexiest woman in the world But on a bad day, you can't help but feel a little average Try to remember the times you've felt the sexiest... And keep that attitude even on the worst of days

Your Power Element is Water

Your power colors: blue and aqua Your energy: deep Your season: winter Like the ocean, you evoke deep feelings and passion. You have an emotional, sensitive, and spiritual soul. A bit mysterious, you tend to be quiet when you are working out a problem. You need your alone time, so that you can think and dream.

You'll Find a Boyfriend Within 3 Months

Maybe you need a bit more time to get over an ex Or maybe you need a confidence boost to talk to new guys Either way, you'll find a boyfriend in time... As long as you keep getting out there and meeting new guys

Your Passion is Purple!

You've got a ton of passion, but you don't always wear it on your sleeve. If something truly excites you, you let your inner intensity shine through. But otherwise, your passion tends to morph into energy ... which you never lack. You're a balanced woman, knowing when to turn on the fire in your heart.

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

"Nice doggy."

You Are 40% Boyish and 60% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

You Are Mostly Secure

In general, you feel confident and together. But the wrong thing can happen, and all of a sudden, you're not feeling so secure. Luckily, your insecurities don't last long... at least, not usually. So the next time you're feeling insecure, try to snap out of it - and remember the confident woman you are!

You Are Basic Panties

You are a laid back chick with a real natural beauty. You can make unwashed hair and minimal make-up super sexy. Men tend to notice you show the "real you" - and they appreciate it. And while basic makes boring for some, it looks classic on you.

You Are 52% Sexy

Your Sex Appeal Is: High You're quite sexy, and you're probably at least partially aware of your powers. Don't let your self doubt ever get the best of you. You're even more attractive than you know.

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You are calm and rational person with a good deal of balance in your life. Friends consider you to be kind, caring, and truly loyal. You are easy going and trusting. However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games. Open to the world, you are not afraid to be yourself. If you don't get enough sleep, you are: Able to cope It's hard to sleep next to you because: You're a bed hog

You Should Wear a Blue Bikini

A natural beauty and flirt, you feel at home both on the beach and in the ocean. And you got your bikini body the old fashioned way... staying active in the sun!

You Are Quite Worldly

You've done a good bit of worldly exploring, and you have an international perspective. And you're definitely looking forward to your future adventures abroad. You've got the passport, the desire to travel, and maybe even the language skills. Now all you need are the means!

bummed.

poopie
meeting human beings tmr

if u think about it
a gal wouldn't really be putting up this post
but hey.
it aint that scary or gory!
these screenshots are from that movie '300'
i actually found the movie quite intriguing
spartans and war
centuries and decades ago



just to make it clear
the wall that's behind the soldiers/spartans
are piled up dead men
quite.. 'hellish'
u figure



and to make another thing clear
i am not a saddist
i just happen to like the movie
trust me.
there's a hell lot more images that can be put up
that are way worst



seen the movie like a dozen times
but really
it hit me now only
life's a bitch.



plus u don't see a severed head
every now and then
not really for the squemish i guess.
besides the nudity and under-dressed women/men
the movie and edit and storyline
is quite.. extraordinary?
especially the edit and effects!
i don't know what people might feel/think
but hey
my opinion!
-same movie but different opinions-



this is basically what u do when u're bored
really bored.
i actually thought twice before putting up the images
people are going to unhappy
but isn't a blog.
like a place where u can actually practice tad bit of freedom=to speak?
yea?
go figure
BUT SERIOUSLY
i do not have a twisted sense of reality
i guess i view things differently
don't blame me.


-blame the genes-

apparently there are ugly cute guys.
u just happen to wonder!

Hayden Panettiere
she looks okay i guess
but they put her on the worst dressed list!!


BUT
this gown is so ..
something that not normal human beings can fit into!
its so GORGEOUS!
heidi klum is HOT!!!!


KRISTEN BELL
i loved her in VERONICA MARS
i was totally addicted to that show
plus this gown..
damn HOT!
she pulled it off really well..


Katherine heigl!
I LOVE HER!
i totally love the character that she plays in Grey's anatomy!
IZZIE!
plus this gown
is a total plus factor
she looks DAMN HOT!
i love this white gown the most

i don't know
like the pics
the pics are kinda complicated.
sneaked off to relax my bones abit!















so tired.
bugged.

screw ass shit
-my mum's pms(ing) like hell-
i want to go back to school

WHY!!!!!

bugger off
;(

I LOVE THIS!


way awesome!!


this dance is so funny!
bahhh
but still awesome!!


OKAY THIS IS WOAH
if a people can do this
they are like woah!


this is awwww
kinda sweet

random
see
dun see
dun care








taken at east coast
on the class barbeque day