just to let you know. to people who don't like long posts.
maybe you might just not want to read this.

i was watching the Tyra Banks Show today.
about three women that are deeply hurt and have emotional problems that made themselves hurt so badly.
two of the women being fat and the other being hurt by the suicide of her husband and child.
her husband had killed her child then killed himself.
they are so deeply and emotionally hurt
i felt for them. really felt for them.
there's so many things going through my head.
i can't even keep them in the same train of thoughts.
how is it that women go through so much hurt?
how is it that we seem to have more problems?
how do we get so obsessed with our looks and the way we are?
why don't we love ourselves?
how did self-esteem issues even get this worse, not bad, but worse?
how is society so vulgar enough to say that women have to look a certain way or behave a certain way?
society being the people that forms it.
how can it be freaking possible that people judge others when they have flaws of their own?
my hands are actually shaking, while writing this. right now
it pisses me off so badly. because i had gone through the same thing.
at such a young age. being anorexic and so depressed till i built a fake facade.
how did the world even get in this way? how is it that forgiving yourself became so hard or even loving yourself?
stripping bare-naked and looking at yourself in the mirror and saying that i love myself and so what if people view me differently. i don't give a shit!
we have alot more to offer. instead of wasting the energy hurting ourselves, why is it that we can't use the energy and love ourselves instead.
my mum gave me the courage to pursue what i wanted. but the fact being that my mum went through hell.
people go through so many different things. how do we get through so many things?
what's the incredibly powerful tool to keep us sane and moving forward?
one thing i learnt is to not be afraid and go for the things you want in life.
not to let anything get in my way and push myself to do well.
love life on the whole. my mum taught me that. even she doesn't know that.
one thing being that you shouldn't let life pass you just like that.
before you know it. its gone.
do we even know how to deal? with anything at all.
empowerment for women is so important. sassy-ness!

i'm probably crapping a whole lot. i just wanted to sorta talk.
considering that i have no one to talk to.
life's just a bitch.
we just have to push through it. we don't. no one would do it for us.